Challenging the toxic workplace

An issue that I frequently encounter is the challenge people face in managing difficult stakeholders. Whether peers, line managers or senior executives; people who are fixed in their thinking, won’t listen, and whose style may be domineering and aggressive, create huge amounts of difficulty for others.

And it’s not a one-off problem; I come across this again and again. In coaching interventions, leadership and team effectiveness programmes, so many discussions are about relationship issues and how to deal with them.

People describe how hard these relationships are, how they’re not being heard. They’re stressed, or worse, feel pressurised and compelled to take a course of action which they know isn’t ethical or appropriate. Attempts to challenge these behaviours are often met with an attitude of dogmatism and rebukes and whilst bullying behaviour might work short-term, in the longer term it builds resentment, causes paralysis or covert resistance.

Such relationship issues don’t just occur between line manager and subordinate. Circumstances where people have accumulated or assumed power can also precipitate difficulties and that’s not always dependent on their seniority; individuals can pull on the power of their stakeholder base. It can affect senior leaders who are struggling to be heard, wrestling to have influence, drive progress or experiencing behaviours contradictory to the organisation’s values. Many factors can influence the behaviour of a perpetrator, their upbringing, life experience, education, values and beliefs. Unless the individual chooses to do something about their own behaviour then coping with them is the primary response. 

An excessive use of coercive power leads people to shut down, withdraw from a relationship or limit their collaboration and significantly impacts on their levels of anxiety, performance and future commitment to the organisation. Stressful, demoralising, demotivating situations such as these often result in a sense of helplessness and giving up, risks putting people in a strong ‘away’ state and creates a flight risk¹. Ultimately this leads to a choice – do I stay in this organisation, if I can’t cope in the relationship? 

Faced with this situation there are a few things that you can do:

• Notice what’s going on and be mindful not to blame yourself for the problem
• Think carefully about where others are coming from, what’s driving their behaviour and how best to influence them
• Invest in the relationship, making it as good as it can be whilst staying true to your own, and the organisation’s values
• Use the principles of Emotional Intelligence ² to guide your thinking and behaviour, managing yourself effectively in order to manage the relationship effectively. Notice how you feel. Stay true to what you believe, consider what’s important to you, what you prefer and need, and make considered choices about how to behave in the face of whatever you’re experiencing
• Flex your approach. Consider the needs and underlying interests of your stakeholder so that you can interact effectively

What can senior leaders do to observe, identify and address these issues amongst their teams?

• Pay greater attention to organisation, climate and culture, putting as much energy into relationships and effective and ethical behaviours as the focus on strategy, policy and business performance
• Not just having company values but absolutely role-modelling the effective behaviours that relate to them
• Rewarding and appreciating effective behaviour to encourage more of it and challenging inappropriate and perverse behaviours at the earliest opportunity

These struggles highlight the ongoing importance of emotional intelligence and fostering a culture of collaboration, mutual trust, and shared purpose in helping people in the organisation to feel valued and heard ³. A plan of action is not just a ‘nice to have’, it’s business critical, because in toxic workplaces, important contributions, insights and points of view are being overlooked. This throws up a business risk where discriminatory, abusive and unethical behaviours have the potential to proliferate.

If you, like so many others, recognise these issues, get in touch. I can offer coaching support or help you to explore how to create an ethical, respectful environment fostering high performance within your organisation. 

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¹ Sull D, Sull C, Cipolli W, Brighenti C. Why every leader needs to worry about toxic culture. MIT Sloan Management Review.2022 Mar 16.

² Mayer JD, Roberts RD, Barsade SG. Human abilities: Emotional intelligence. Annu. Rev. Psychol. 2008 Jan10;59(1):507-36.

³ Gilbert JA, Carr-Ruffino N, Ivancevich JM,Konopaske R. Toxic versus cooperative behaviors at work: the role of organizational culture and leadership in creating community-centered organizations. International Journal of Leadership Studies. 2012;7(1):29-47.